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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28371336">Avoidance</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/xCastielsGirlx/pseuds/xCastielsGirlx'>xCastielsGirlx</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Inquisitor Elley [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Age: Inquisition</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anxiety Disorder, Gen, Inquisitor Elley, Pre-Slash, Therinfal Redoubt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 23:35:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,584</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28371336</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/xCastielsGirlx/pseuds/xCastielsGirlx</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Herald starts avoiding Cullen after the events at Therinfal Redoubt. He's determined to find out why.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cullen Rutherford/Female Trevelyan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Inquisitor Elley [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2077599</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Avoidance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He finally catches on three weeks after they recruit the templars. </p><p>The Herald can be hard to track down in Haven sometimes, but she can usually be found with Harritt, tuning her arms and armour. Not only that but she will frequently make the rounds on her "inner circle" to check how they're doing and make small-talk. It's only when she hurries out of another war room meeting that he realises, she hasn't spoken to him directly in over ten days. He blinks as he watches her practically run from the room, and next to him Leliana clears her throat.</p><p>"Finally caught on have you, Cullen?" she asks. Cullen turns to her with narrowed eyes.</p><p>"Has she spoken with any of you since returning?" he asks. Leliana and Josephine both nod, and Cullen frowns. He decides to push it from his mind however.</p><p>"Well I'm sure she's very busy trying to clean up The Hinterlands," Cullen mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck as he heads towards his troops. Along the way he passes Solas and Varric, both of whom are acting their normal selves. They had been with the Herald at Therinfal and would likely have insight into what happened. Against his instincts, Cullen approached Solas first. He knows that demons were involved at Therinfal, and that the... spirit, Cole, had been involved. And who better to talk to than the elf that knew practically everything about spirits.</p><p>-</p><p>Solas's eyes narrowed as he watched Cullen approach. Cullen rubbed the back of his neck again and glanced around.</p><p>"Good evening, Solas," Cullen started formally. Solas raised an eyebrow and tensed.</p><p>"Good evening Commander. May I ask why you've come to visit?" he asked, his fingers twitching towards his staff. Usually Cullen would have been aware of this, but his thoughts were wandering elsewhere.</p><p>"I wanted to ask you about what happened at Therinfal Redoubt," he mumbled, and Solas blinked.</p><p>"Did you not receive our report?" Solas asked, frowning. Cullen nodded.</p><p>"Yes, however I'm concerned for the Herald. She's..." a blush crept up Cullen's cheeks as he realised what he was about to say. <em>Makers breath, I'm going to sound childish...</em></p><p>"Ah, you wish to know why she's avoiding you." Solas stated. The way Solas replied, so factually, and without judgement, made Cullen relax.</p><p>"Is she avoiding anyone else?" </p><p>Solas hummed in thought.</p><p>"She was wary of Leliana and Josephine for some days after, but I believe that has now subsided. It may be wise to ask her yourself, Commander. What she experienced at the hands of the envy demon was not witnessed by ourselves. Only she will have the answers you're looking for." Cullen sighed and ran a hand through his hair. </p><p>"Thank you Solas."</p><p>-</p><p>Elley dashed into the tavern, eager to avoid Cullen as he spoke to Solas.</p><p>"Up to something naughty are we?"</p><p>Elley squeaked and heard Sera giggling as she skipped back to her table. Elley joined Sera and ordered two drinks and a meal for Sera.</p><p>"Your tab, yeah?" she asked as she chugged the tankard of watered-down ale. Sera frowned at the taste. 'Piss...' she mumbled. Elley drank quietly from her tankard, also wincing at the taste. She couldn't complain though- it was better than drinking melted snow for the fifth day in a row. A gust of wind caught her off-guard, and she choked on her drink as she saw the telltale sign of Cullen's furs. She ducked beneath the table, much to Sera's amusement. It was a testament to how close the two had grown that Sera shielded Elley from view. It didn't stop the swift kick to the ribs after Cullen had left though. </p><p>"Still avoiding Cullen then?" Sera asked, already knowing the answer. Elley frowned, rubbing her side as she sat back up at the table.</p><p>"It was just... harrowing to see him in there." she mumbled.</p><p>"Not the same with Josie or Leliana though is it? You got over them pretty quick," Sera commented. Elley shrugged.</p><p>"Yeah, well, you know my past with men. Plus I'm pretty sure Cullen hates my guts." Sera snorted.</p><p>"I'd be surprised if Cullen <em>liked</em> anyone's guts. Too serious, he is." Elley glanced out of the window, watching as Cullen approached Varric, who shrugged at whatever the Commander had asked. </p><p>"Ah who cares, he'll give up looking soon. Let's get more drinks! I'll invite the fun guys," Sera giggled as Elley waved over Flissa.</p><p>-</p><p>It was gone midnight by the time they were kicked out of the tavern. Iron Bull was roaring with laughter at something Sera had said, and Blackwall was chuckling along. Varric patted Elley on the arm before retiring to his tent, and eventually Elley was left alone in Haven's grounds. More than a little tipsy, she stumbled down the snowy path to the cabin that had been assigned to her. The air was sharp on her face, and she breathed deeply, reveling in the feeling of being in reality.</p><p>"Hurtful words, confusing statements, they all lead back to <em>him</em>. You didn't want him, and now they're all here. He commands the forces and you cannot flee. The dagger glints, the belt buckle glints-"</p><p>"Hullo Cole," Elley mumbled, rubbing a hand down her face.</p><p>"I can help," he offered, but Elley shook her head. </p><p>"Sometimes we have to remember the pain," she slurred, patting the boy on the shoulder as she continued past. She heard a muttered 'I don't understand' as she grabbed the door knob to her cabin. Elley instantly sobered as she felt the lock give way too easily. Quietly, she grabbed the dagger from it's hiding place, and entered the cabin cautiously. She dashed towards the figure on a chair and was about to place her knife to it's throat when the sound of a sword being unsheathed caught her ears. She ducked to the side and rolled to avoid what she thought was an incoming blow, only to hit her head on the end of her bed. Her dagger dropped to the floor with a clang, and the sword was sheathed. The figure approached, and Elley reached up to throw the assailant away, only to grab a fistful of furs.</p><p>"What the-"</p><p>"Maker's breath, Trevelyan. Are you always this on edge?"</p><p>Elley froze at the voice above her. Her breathing quickened, and she fought hard to slow it.</p><p>"Commander. What are you doing in my private quarters?!" she demanded. The silhouette moved from in front of her, and Cullen lit a candle that was on the desk.</p><p>"Forgive me, I couldn't find you anywhere, and when I checked the tavern you were... engaged," he explained, mumbling towards the end. Elley blushed, the alcohol returning to her after the adrenaline of thinking that Cullen was an assassin. </p><p>"Well, I'm now found, so you can un-find me again," she joked, waving her hand extravagantly towards the door. Cullen looked as though he wanted to protest, but closed his mouth. It was late, and Trevelyan was drunk. </p><p>"Consider yourself unfound, Herald," he nodded at her and left the cabin, more confused than ever.</p><p>-</p><p>The war table meeting the next day was almost unbearable. Elley's head pounded, and no amount of coffee was changing that. Not to mention that the only free space had been next to Cullen this morning. There was no use in covering up the flinches when he moved too quickly, and the back-steps when he moved too close. The paranoid dance continued for the next hour and a half, until Josephine called for a break. Elley nodded uselessly, still staring at the table. More specifically at the marker of Therinfal Redoubt. </p><p>"What happened there?" Cullen asked gently, ignoring the thousandth flinch from the Herald that day.</p><p>"Did you not get the report?" Elley frowned, still staring at the table. Cullen blanched but then narrowed his eyes.</p><p>"Yes. But it was lacking. Whatever happened clearly affected you, and your ability to cooperate with me and-"</p><p>"It was an envy demon." Cullen stopped mid-sentence, opening his mouth to retort. Elley silenced him with a raised hand.</p><p>"It tried to take over my body, as it had done with the Lord Seeker. It made me... <em>see</em> things. It twisted the reality around me. Used those I know and knew against me. It used <em>you</em> against me." she explained, still staring at the table, taking deep and shaky breaths. Cullen's eyes widened, and he looked at Elley softly.</p><p>"You should have said something." he muttered, taking a step back, giving her space. Elley's eyes widened a the action. </p><p>"I've been in a similar situation myself, and I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemies," he continued even quieter. Elley blinked back tears, her hands shaking.</p><p>"How did you get over it?" she asked desperately, looking Cullen in the eye for the first time in two weeks. He felt as though the floor had vanished beneath him. The pain was raw, the fear plastered all over her face. He swallowed as he felt for an answer. He settled on the truth.</p><p>"I haven't yet."</p><p>Elley deflated, lowered her head, and clenched her hands into fists so hard that Cullen was sure she'd break the skin of her palms.</p><p>"Thank you for being honest. I'm going to retire for the rest of the day. Tell Leliana and Josie I'm not feeling well." her voice was measured, far from the shaking of her body. </p><p>"Of course," Cullen muttered. He had a feeling he'd just done more harm than good.</p>
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